Collage 019               H u m o u r N e t                    1995

Will the *real* first Collage of the New Year please stand up?
Sorry for the confusion ... here is Collage #19.

HFNY!

- Vince Sabio
  HumourNet Moderator
  HumourNet@telephonet.com
____________________________________________________________________
          Opener (above) Copyright 1995 by Vincent Sabio
  Permission is hereby granted to forward or post this "Collage";
  please observe the guidelines stated at the end of the message.
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  POLICE FIND BRITISH BURGLARS SAFE AND SOUND

     SOUTHEND, England - Police called to rescue two men stuck in a
lift said they found the men with a stolen safe.
     Police in Southend-on-Sea, eastern England, said the pair had
evidently taken the safe from an office only to be trapped when the
lift broke down.
     They banged and shouted so loudly that they disturbed revellers
at a disco next door.
     "It was convenient of them to get stuck," said a police
spokeswoman, adding that the pair had been charged with burglary.

----------[ H U M O U R N E T ]----------

  WORLD'S FIRST YAK SPERM BANK OPENS IN TIBET

     BEIJING - China has opened the world's first sperm bank for
yaks in Tibet, with the first semen due to be available to female
yaks on the roof of the world next year, the Xinhua news agency
said.
     The bank of frozen sperm, which has taken six years to build at
a cost of 1.64 million yuan ($194,000), has been set up in Dangxiong
county, it said.  Previously, Tibetan farmers have had to rely on
traditional natural methods of mating yaks.  "That caused
degeneration, resulting in a lower quality of the yak," Xinhua said.
The bank plans to hold deposits of 100,000 to 200,000 tubes of
frozen yak sperm.

Copyright 1994 Reuters America Inc.  All rights reserved.

========================[ H U M O U R N E T ]=======================

Transmitting this week from Portola Valley, California -- the farthest
I could get from the Rose Parade on one tank of gas -- it's...

NOTE: The "This is True" column (also briefly called "This Just In")
was, for a short time, carried on HumourNet *with permission* from
author Randy Cassingham. However, that permission did not extend to
the archived Collages on the 'Net. Thus, Randy's material does not
appear here in the HumourNet archives.

If you are interested in seeing Randy's work (highly recommended),
or getting copies of his books (compilations of his column -- also
highly recommended), then send a blank e-mail to TrueInfo@freecom.com,
or point your browser at <http://www.freecom.com/>.

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